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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

My Neighbour The Rapist: inside South Africa's most dangerous township

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I even had a weird moment at that small, overlooked creek near the outskirts. There’s no fancy name for it, just a trickle of water that cuts through the concrete jungle. I sat there one day, thinking, "I love you," to the universe, like David’s existential rants – odd but heartfelt.

Power restored to Diepsloot welfare organisations at last